Marriages - we need to give a part of ourselves
to receive in abundance. Sometimes we receive more from it than we
expect and anticipate and sometimes we give more to it than we ever know
we could. But still it is in ourselves to decide what to give and what
to receive.
I remember, a couple of years ago, it was a Thursday night and I had been married for about 14 years. That night it was already half past eleven and the kids had gone to bed, I was watching a movie, when I suddenly asked Huma, if we could go out to a nearby restaurant for tea. Surprised by this sudden desire though not much shocked by my peculiar gesture, she looked at me and said, 'Now ? The kids are sleeping. How can we leave them alone and go?". I remember, Kaleem was about 12 years old and Mummu & Ibbu were just 5 and 4. Leaving them alone in the house and going out was not a good idea. But then I said, 'Its good that they are asleep, they've slept an hour back and are in deep sleep, they won't wake-up and we will come back in an hour." She hesitated for a minute and then looking at the sleeping kids and then at the wayward desire on my face, she agreed and said, 'OK, let's go.' I wrote a note on a piece of paper and left it on the dining table for Kaleem, in case he woke up.
She wore her veil and we left the home to head towards the nearby restaurant which is just a 10 minute walk from our house. We walked together, and it seemed quite odd while walking without the kids and while doing so it hit me, that it was probably the first time in so many years after my eldest son was born that Huma and I had stepped out of the house alone. I also noticed that there was hardly anything to talk while being alone. All these years whenever we went out, the kids were there with us. And it is so natural that we monitor our kids while we are out with them. Now being alone, we walked quietly to the restaurant and had our tea. I told her that while the kids are not with us we do not have much to talk about ourselves. She gave her consenting smile to this and said, "'Yes, see we talk about our space but we don't realize that most of our space has been taken by our kids. We have been lucky to forget ourselves in accepting them." Barely had we finished the tea, she asked me if we would want to wait there more or head back home. We returned home and while walking back home, I said "Isn't it strange, we cannot enjoy being alone now even though we know they are fast asleep, we still keep thinking about them. I don't know when this happened but I have realized it today, when they are not with me"
We looked at each other while entering the house and found the children sleeping peacefully in their beds. Since then there hasn't been a second such moment in our lives as I know that though we, as wife-husband, had our respective space, there was a third space that was a common one formed by our intersecting interest and it was larger than the one we had to ourselves. It was the space inhabited by our very own children.
I remember, a couple of years ago, it was a Thursday night and I had been married for about 14 years. That night it was already half past eleven and the kids had gone to bed, I was watching a movie, when I suddenly asked Huma, if we could go out to a nearby restaurant for tea. Surprised by this sudden desire though not much shocked by my peculiar gesture, she looked at me and said, 'Now ? The kids are sleeping. How can we leave them alone and go?". I remember, Kaleem was about 12 years old and Mummu & Ibbu were just 5 and 4. Leaving them alone in the house and going out was not a good idea. But then I said, 'Its good that they are asleep, they've slept an hour back and are in deep sleep, they won't wake-up and we will come back in an hour." She hesitated for a minute and then looking at the sleeping kids and then at the wayward desire on my face, she agreed and said, 'OK, let's go.' I wrote a note on a piece of paper and left it on the dining table for Kaleem, in case he woke up.
She wore her veil and we left the home to head towards the nearby restaurant which is just a 10 minute walk from our house. We walked together, and it seemed quite odd while walking without the kids and while doing so it hit me, that it was probably the first time in so many years after my eldest son was born that Huma and I had stepped out of the house alone. I also noticed that there was hardly anything to talk while being alone. All these years whenever we went out, the kids were there with us. And it is so natural that we monitor our kids while we are out with them. Now being alone, we walked quietly to the restaurant and had our tea. I told her that while the kids are not with us we do not have much to talk about ourselves. She gave her consenting smile to this and said, "'Yes, see we talk about our space but we don't realize that most of our space has been taken by our kids. We have been lucky to forget ourselves in accepting them." Barely had we finished the tea, she asked me if we would want to wait there more or head back home. We returned home and while walking back home, I said "Isn't it strange, we cannot enjoy being alone now even though we know they are fast asleep, we still keep thinking about them. I don't know when this happened but I have realized it today, when they are not with me"
We looked at each other while entering the house and found the children sleeping peacefully in their beds. Since then there hasn't been a second such moment in our lives as I know that though we, as wife-husband, had our respective space, there was a third space that was a common one formed by our intersecting interest and it was larger than the one we had to ourselves. It was the space inhabited by our very own children.
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